You Don’t Have to Love Parenting Every Minute
Most of us have seen television shows where the parents seem to love their household role 24/7. They are seemingly always home to soak in every second with their kids, offer helpful advice, have dinner on the table, and do it all with a smile.
While we can understand that TV and reality don’t always go hand-in-hand, it can be difficult to see such depictions while wondering if you should be that kind of parent. Maybe you even feel guilty because you don’t love every minute of parenting your kids.
Take a deep breath, because you’re not alone. More importantly, it’s okay not to love parenting all of the time. Let’s dig a little deeper into why you don’t have to, so you can let go of the guilt and recognize that you’re still a good mom or dad, even if you’re not thrilled with every second of parenting.
Parenting Is a Journey
Seeing parenting portrayed on television compresses things into a small chunk of time. The reality of everyday parenting is far more complex. You can’t always get things wrapped up in a 30-minute time slot.
Parenting is a rollercoaster of positive and negative experiences. Some days will be easy and fun. Others will be challenging and exhausting.
Those challenging days are okay. Maybe you’re struggling with sleepless nights because of a new baby, or you’re butting heads with your teenager. You can still love your child unconditionally and be a good parent without loving these moments.
Frustration Can Be Normal
Maybe you feel like you should push these negative feelings down or try to ignore them. Unfortunately, that’s likely to make matters worse. Allow yourself to feel frustrated or let down at times. Acknowledging your feelings will help you work through them so you can move forward.
Additionally, try to let go of unrealistic expectations that will end up causing more frustration and disappointment. The idea that you have to “cherish every moment” of parenthood is a romanticized myth, and you’ll only end up letting yourself down by believing it.
Focus On Meaningful Moments
Instead of dwelling on cherishing every moment, focus on quality over quantity. Soak in the meaningful moments that happen with your child rather than trying to force things to be “great” every second of the day.
Think about the times when you’re both engaged, connecting, and enjoying each other’s company. It doesn’t have to be all the time. In fact, when you choose to focus on the quality of those moments, you’ll cherish them even more.
Take Care of Yourself
You can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re worried about not loving parenting every moment, you’re probably beating yourself up a bit. That can make matters worse. Choose to be self-compassionate and kind. You’ll be a more present and engaged parent when you’re prioritizing your well-being.
Additionally, don’t be afraid to lean on your support system. Consider talking to family members and friends about how you feel. You’ll quickly realize you’re not alone, and you might get some advice or insight you didn’t consider before.
Finally, if you’re still struggling with your feelings, consider counseling for parents. Working with a professional can help you better understand the root of your feelings.
Maybe you’re struggling with guilt, or you don’t know why you’re having a hard time finding joy in the small moments. Not only can therapy help, but you’ll also learn effective strategies to overcome those thoughts and feelings.
If you’re ready to let go of the misconception that you have to love parenting every minute, don’t make the journey alone. Contact me today for an appointment.